Well, as twisted as they were, the middle ages had one thing down: chivalry. This is something they don't teach in schools. Right now, women are pretty much just objects of sexual desire in the public eye. And let's face it, boys are going to devote the better part of their days trying to get summa that. That's male nature. The trick is to do it in a way that respects female boundaries. It goes down to the smallest things. Instead of complimenting a girl on her rack, try holding the door open for her instead. Of course, we're adults here, and we know this, but kids don't. That, I believe, has to change.

the protocols that i developed for my sexual boundaries came from the absolute and vile molestation of them since childhood.
straight up, 1 in 3 women have been raped.
soooo many by their fathers or someone in their immediate "family".
combine that with intuition BOLD rising up right now in most of us (women)
and then
sprinkle that with the way most men approach most women with such entitlement and ego
defenses are bound to go off...

it is not the responsibility of the person who feels their boundary has been crossed to tailor their expression of it for the sake of the pusher.
it is ALWAYS the responsibility of the pusher to back off, learn, and show reverence.

in learning, even asking the person what exactly it was that crossed the boundary and why it felt that way, we develop compassion in our dealings with one another.
the person who feels violated has every right to express that, period.
it is our job, then, to honor what may have happened in this persons Life and STOP projecting on to them because of the rejection that may be felt. maybe you could ask them about it sometime.
honor it as the Truth of that person's experience. why would they lie about it?

people who have a hard time expressing their boundaries have, typically, had them violated severely and know not of them too well themselves.
they may be just learning that they have boundaries, or that they are worthy of having any, or just discovered that they are worthy and are overcompensating while they learn to get the hang of it asserting them with grace and Balance, or feel guilty for having any ESPECIALLY when faced with someone who may remind them of their abuser and they get fucking choked and CAN"T express them...

i say, THE most important thing is for us ALL to begin to pay more attention to is the subtle energetic vibrations that fluctuate between us and within us. stay True to them.
i know, for me, if a boundary has been crossed, i freeze , or i fight, or i flee (hmmm)(though i am consciously getting better) because of the MANY experiences that i have had with being violated (and, by the way, only more women are going to have this issue with the way our media and current society abuses the Earth and the Feminine unless men choose to do some CONSCIOUS evolution and break these cycles through inner journeying). nonetheless, at all, if i feel frozen it is obvious that i feel uncomfortable. if one were to actually tap in and pay attention, it is obvious and palpable. my Heart races and i suppose i put out fear. it is RARE that a man actually backs off in that space.
why?
is this dumb or just turned on by the fight?

the lack of CHOICE that i have, until the initial PHYSICAL sensation of fear that occurs in my body is surpassed, shows that i WAS a victim and these memories still Live in my cellular memory.
we are not stuck in or playing victim.
we are surviving having been and still feeling at times, very really victimized.

as far as desire meeting a healthy outlet, it is noone elses responsibility to satiate.
learn to Touch your Self gently while envisioning your own beauty and the beauty of All that Is...
Touch is healing, for sure...
i see how fucked we all can be and are or have been without enough of it....
Bless it.

the one word answer that comes to me is in all of this is:

REVERENCE.

for one another in every single fucking moment.

we are ALL healing from SO MUCH fucking trauma.
relate to one another as children who have been hurt.

Blessed Be.